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A Letter to the First Dogs about Training Gear

Woofs from Gizmo’s Office

Hey Major and Champ!

2 hounds harness white house dogs
A harness keeps a dog safe, secure and comfortable © 2 Hounds Design

I wanted to drop you a quick note and congratulate you both on your new “digs!” It’s great watching fellow canines once again enjoying the lush green lawns of the peoples’ house.

Your hoomans do a great job of caring for you and it’s obvious you are important members of the family. However, I did notice that you are sporting some kinda “old fashioned” collars. Those collars are sooooo “last decade,” if you know what I mean.

These days, collars are pretty much only for accessorizing and hanging your bling from. Nothing else. Not for leashes and not for tethers. Let me tell you why…

The Administration of Science

Being the “Administration of Science,” I’m sure you know about the potential risks you may be taking wearing these types of collars (and by these types of collars I mean choke, prong or shock). Doggie neck collars, especially those designed to choke and prong, can cause soft tissue damage, gland problems, eye problems, strangulation, tracheal/esophageal damage and/or neurological problems.

And don’t get me started on the training fallout (that’s when us dogs start acting out because of the side-effects of wearing a choke collar).  Take it from me, I used to be a servant to fashion until I got a better grip on the whole science thing. Even my hooman has given up high heels – sacrificing fashion for better foot health.

Old Fashioned Methods & Equipment

Choke chains and prong collars are designed to administer pain. Ouch! There are some scientific words to explain how they work but I can’t remember how to spell them (and I’ve lost my dogtionary – oops!). Anyway, when I was first rescued by my “forever home,” my wonderful family was new to dog training and had me wearing a choke collar.

They tried to train me using “old-fashioned” methods and although I tried to explain to them that the collar hurt, they just pulled on it all the more.

In spite of their best intentions, sometimes hoomans just don’t get it. I would bark all the scientific explanations (with citations and references; I think I even mentioned Dr. Fauci – I’d seen him on TV and he seemed nice) like how the collar cut off my airway, squeezed my throat, caused me pain, and made my eyes bulge, but my family just didn’t seem to understand.

So of course, I tried the old tourist trick of repeating my explanation a little bit louder. For some reason though, they would just take me outside when I did that.

They still didn’t seem to get that the collar was hurting me, so I started blaming the pain on whomever or whatever was near me at the time. I learned that they call this “fallout” or side-effect.

What a Difference Science Makes!

Eventually the choking and pain started to make me scared whenever someone approached me. Sometimes I would even get a bit angry because all I wanted was for them to stay away so I wouldn’t get hurt again by the collar.

Yet I knew this was just the opposite of what my family wanted for me. They only ever wanted the best for me. My hoomans are awesome! So luckily they did a bit of research and learned about science- based, pain-free, hoomane pet care equipment and training approaches from the Pet Professional Guild (I set their bowser browser home page to so they couldn’t miss it).

Wow, what a difference a little science makes! My smart hoomans learned all about the many benefits of using a harness instead of a collar.

Dog Fashion Meets Hooman Function

2 Hounds Shepherd harness white house dogs
Wearing a harness makes walks less stressful and more fun for both dogs and their humans © 2 Hounds Design

It turned out to be kind of like where dog fashion meets hooman function. I got to go on a fun outing to the pet store with my folks and choose a few harnesses. A color and style for every occasion!

My favorite is my “Aloha” harness I wear to our local “yappy hour” (social distancing strictly observed, naturally – inappropriate sniffing is discouraged). I even have one in case I am invited to your place for a socially distanced play date (I can bring the treats).

And harnesses are so comfortable! My hooman says mine fits me like a sports bra. I’m not sure what that is but I do know my hoomans are understanding me so much better now. The harnesses keep me safe, secure and comfortable – without any pain at all.

Looking Really Cool!

Wearing a harness has really helped when I’m out on a walk, not to mention that I look really cool. Walks are less stressful and more fun for both me and my hoomans. And I don’t have to shout as much anymore. It’s a win-win!

Now I know your hoomans are kinda busy right now, so I’d love to help out! I know some really kind folks who can send each of you your very own harness. If you could just scratch me out a pee-mail with your sizes and a mailing address I will take care of the rest!

Anyway, hope to see you at a “yappy hour” sometime soon. I’ll be the adorable mixed breed terrier in the Aloha harness. First biscuit is on me!


P.S. You can reach me at [email protected]

Kind Hooman Folks

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