Pets and Their People Blog

by Don Hanson

If you include a cat, dog, or horse as a family member, you and everyone who helps care for your companion animal will benefit from reading Beyond Belly Rubs: The Compassionate Pet Guardian, How to Truly Connect with Kindness & Love – Your Guide to A Lifelong Bond by Niki Tudge and Louise Stapleton-Frappell.

More Than Words

This book is not about training your precious pets; it is about something even more important: living a full, mutually beneficial, harmonious life with them.

With our pets as family members and partners for life, this book will teach you far more important things than how to teach your dog to SIT. Your pet’s physical and emotional well-being depends on how you and others interact with them.

In the introduction, the authors clearly state why professing your love for a pet is not enough.

“Love does not automatically teach us how fear works in the brain. Love does not explain why a dog can know a cue at home and seem to forget it outside. Love does not tell us how to respond when kindness alone doesn’t seem to help. That isn’t a failure of love. It’s a gap in guidance.”

What we know about our pets in 2026 has changed significantly from what we thought we knew, or were told, when I adopted my first dog in 1975.

Scientific literature has shown that the animals we choose as companions are far more like us than different from us.

Our cats, dogs, and horses are all emotional, sentient beings, each with their own specific set of normal behaviors and behavioral and physical needs. If we do not understand how to communicate compassionately and meet their needs, we may not be able to provide our pets with the quality of life they need to thrive and live a life worth living.

The Skills We Need

The book lists the skills one needs to be a trusted companion to a pet as:

• Recognizing when our dog is experiencing either distress or eustress.
• Creating optimal conditions for your dog to learn.
• Understanding that a dog “misbehaving” is not being defiant or dominant.
• Being patient and teaching your dog at a pace where they can best learn.
• Controlling the environment to minimize stress and distractions to optimize learning.

This list applies to cats, horses, or any other companion animal we choose to include in our family. All these things are far more important than teaching our dog to sit, our cat to use a scratching post, or our horses to allow us to ride them.

Sadly, many of the items on this list are not covered in many dog training classes. Even sadder, there are pet care professionals, including veterinary staff and those who call themselves animal behavior experts, who lack knowledge in these areas.

I encourage every pet parent to require the pet care professionals who care for your pets to read this book.

Kindness Requires Action

The book is divided into three parts, and each chapter ends with a section called The Pet Parent’s Takeaway, which neatly summarizes what you need to know. I’ve included my two favorite takeaways from Part I below, along with my thoughts (in blue) on why each concept is so important.

Part I – The Science of Kindness (The Why)

“Kindness is a doing word. It requires the courage to set boundaries, the discipline to follow a plan, and the integrity to advocate for your pet when the rest of the world is telling you to just be nice. Don’t just be a nice guardian. Be a kind one.“

This takeaway emphasizes that being kind requires action on your part. You cannot just feel kind; you need to be kind. It also highlights that you must speak up for your pet when others are not kind, no matter who they are or what they do.

Before you ask your pet to do something, pause and ask yourself: Is my dog’s brain online? If your dog is panting, pacing, scanning the environment, or going still, they’re not in a state to learn. At that moment, training isn’t happening – you’re seeing a nervous system in survival mode. What to do instead:

• Pause the interaction and remove any expectations.
• Increase distance from whatever is causing stress.
• Focus on restoring a sense of safety first.

Whenever you give your dog a cue to do something, whether during training or throughout the day, you must first consciously make a connection with your dog, assessing their physical and emotional state and everything going on in their environment. If you cannot make that connection, you cannot expect them to respond to your cue. If your dog is not feeling safe, first, before asking anything of them, help them to trust that you can and will keep them safe.

This book is so important that I require my teams at Green Acres Kennel Shop and ForceFreePets.com to read it. Additionally, it will be included in the materials for both our Puppy and Rescue Headstart-ONLINE and Basic Manners classes. I have also gifted copies to several veterinarians, encouraging them to share this book with their staff and clients.

You can purchase the book online from DogNostics Education or Amazon.

Beyond Belly Rubs: The Compassionate Pet Guardian
Authors: Niki Tudge and Louise Stapleton-Frappell (2026)
Pages: 124
ISBN (print): 979-8295640353

---

Don Hanson lives in Bangor, Maine, where he is the co-owner of the Green Acres Kennel Shop and the founder of ForceFreePets.com, an online educational resource for people with dogs and cats. He is a Professional Canine Behavior Consultant (PCBC-A) accredited by the Pet Professional Accreditation Board (PPAB) and a Bach Foundation Registered Animal Practitioner (BFRAP). A Pet Professional Guild (PPG) member, Don serves on the Board of Directors, Steering Committee, and chairs the Advocacy Task Force and Shock-Free Coalition.

The opinions in this article are those of Don Hanson.

©2026, Donald J. Hanson, All Rights Reserved

---

Keep the Conversation Going!

The PPG Podcast – Niki Tudge & Louise Stapleton-Frappell Join Us to Discuss Their New Book, Beyond Belly Rubs: The Compassionate Pet Guardian

Your Moderator: Don Hanson

Recorded: April 15, 2026

Where: Live on the Pet Professional Guild Facebook page

Relax and enjoy the discussion!