Pets and Their People Blog

by Allison Hunter-Frederick

Once we understood that cats show affection in many ways, we began to notice signs of love everywhere.

Cinder is a cat who resists being held, but she curls up at our feet at night, and in that way, she shows us that she loves us. It took us time not to feel rejected when she pulled away from touch. Like many people, we expected love to appear through cuddling or being held. But, research and lived experience show that love from our cats takes many forms.

Communication

One sign of love is communication. Throughout the day, our cats slow blink at us, sniff our faces, and rub their cheeks or heads against us. Some days, they respond with a purr or even happy drools. Slow blinks can signal trust and comfort, and scent sharing is a feline way of saying we belong together.

Many cat guardians share similar stories. One said her cat climbs onto her shoulders to nuzzle her nose and mark her glasses.

Some note that their cats reserve soft head bumps for their closest friends.

Others describe a cat tapping their face for breakfast as a way to begin the day together.

Behavior

Cats also show love in how they greet, seek us out, and follow us.

When she was younger, our cat Rainy was a constant shadow. Cinder sometimes meows when we leave the room, but she settles if we respond or return. Bootsie chirps to say hello or ask for attention. Many guardians describe cats who follow them from room to room, sit nearby while they work, or wait until they are settled before curling up beside them. Marjorie Dawson wrote about her cat Thomas following her through the garden and waiting at the gate for her to open it.

Demonstrative acts are another sign of affection. Some cats bring toys, dropping a favorite mouse or stuffed animal at their person’s feet. Gina Emery describes her cats giving “air kisses” by leaning in close and sniffing her.

Grooming is also a sign of care. Grooming usually occurs between cats with a warm relationship, so when they lick our hands or faces—even with those barbed tongues—it can be a form of endearment.

Proximity

Closeness often reveals love in quieter ways.

My first cat would lay on my stomach, my back, or any place she could reach. A recent foster placed her paw on my hand as she fell asleep. Affection appears in these small touches. Cats sometimes intertwine their tails as a sign of friendship, and the human equivalent may be when a tail wraps gently around a calf. Ruth Thaler-Carter shared how her cat Skitter curls up beside her desk and rests a paw on her arm before drifting into a nap.

Cats rarely express love in only one way. Sometimes they are openly cuddly; others express affection more quietly. We may see it in their body language, the way they follow us around, in a toy placed at our feet, or in the simple choice to share space.

What signs of feline love do you notice?

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About the Author

Allison Hunter-Frederick is a Certified Cat Behavior Consultant and Trainer. She is also the wife of a supportive husband who designs her social media, mom to four fur kids and revolving fosters, and the cat enrichment and post-adoption coordinator for her local humane society. Through her business Allison Helps Cats, LLC, she uses her knowledge of cats to help cat owners and animal shelters with their cat behavior needs. She is an advocate for creating awareness about cat behavior and communication.